Laws of attraction

I have been realizing more and more that you can't escape some things. I say fate to April. She says Law of attraction. The more you think about something, focus on it, the more you pull it into your life. It makes me wanna scream GET THE F OUT! to the thoughts in my head. But even if I did. Even if I vented it all one day, for the whole day straight, just spilling forth the thoughts I have, they would still be there. So I continue to attract these things I think of. I want to pack a backpack, grab some comfy Nike's, and just run like hell. Or at least power walk, since I only think you should run if you're being chased. And I refuse to be chased away by my unhappiness. I may not stay in my current situation, but it won't be running away. That's for damn sure. Previously, in my life, my fight or flight response always ran to running. Easier. But no closure. Well, screw it. I can't live with the memories anymore. I can't deal with the thoughts that are consistently slamming me b/c they are unsatisfied, unanswered, and unaddressed. It's killing me. I am becoming bitterly jaded. And it sucks. I want my smile to remain a true smile. One that still reaches my eyes. But I don't know how much crap it'll take before it's all tarnished to hell.Oh yeah, and fuck alcohol. It turns people into complete fucking fools.